Waiting

Yesterday I went to Lake Murray Baptist and put Ashlyn on their waiting list for Preschool. At first I wasn't going to send her to school until she was in Kindergarten but decided that she and I both need for her to go to school. She is just so bored and we all know what happens when kids are bored...they misbehave! I've tried sitting down with her and doing our own little school time, but she doesn't stay engaged for very long at all. So I've decided to give in. I think that she will really enjoy it. She's so social and loves to learn and I think she'll do much better in an educational environment. Not that I don't feel she can't learn at home, but maybe it will be more exciting this way. I pray we get in. We're number two on the waiting list and if two ppl don't pay tuition Ashlyn will take one of the spots. The cordinator told me that if they have 14 or 15 ppl on the waiting list they'll open a new class. So I'm really hoping that either way we will get in. I think I'll know something in about two wks. Lets keep our fingers crossed. It would be so great. This way I'd be able to give Jade some more special mom time and work on her communication skills. I want her to be able to feel just as special as Ashlyn did at that age. I feel like I jip her of SO much one on one time with me. She really loves mama and doesn't want anyone else. I've been feeling VERY guilty about the lack of time with her. I know it's normal with a second child, but I don't want her to grow up and feel like I didn't give her enough time. Especially when it comes time for us to have another baby. I can't just push little Jade aside like that. She deserves my time too. Both of my children deserve the absolute best mom that I can be and I feel like I'll be better if Ashlyn is able to learn better, (and I won't be so frustrated with her) and Jade will be able to learn more as well. Is this just a dream I've set up in my mind? Or is this something atainable? We will see. Lets all pray for the best mom that I can be!