Do I believe?

Two weeks ago I informed everyone of the trial my brother is facing with his Transverse Myelitis. Well before leaving the hospital two Sundays ago he was told that he has permanantly lost the ability to urinate on his own. He was also informed that he cannot work for a month at the minimum. They taught he and his wife how to insert the "in-and-out" catheder and sent them on their way. Jesse went to a Neurologist last wk and the Dr. was amazed that Jesse could walk. He said, "You don't understand. You should not be walking! This isn't something that people just bounce back from." He took Jesse off of his other pain meds and put him on one that has a high dose, and he's still on the steroids. Another Dr. believes that Jesse will regain control of his muscles again soon and be back to normal 100%, urinating on his own and everything. This Dr. told him to quit taking all pain meds and only take the steroids. He's weaning off of the pain pills and well on his way to recovery. On Monday Jesse felt the bottom of his seat for the first time. When he touches his arm he still can't feel his hand on top of his arm, but is soon approaching recovery.

So I ask myself...do I believe in the power of prayer and fasting? Absolutely without a doubt I believe that my father in heaven hears and answers prayers. I believe in the power of the preisthood and I know that we are heard. Our father is aware of us all and everything we are currently going through. I am so grateful to those that prayed and fasted with my family. Thank you to all of you, we have felt your prayers, and I know my brother and his wife have felt them even more so than the rest of us. Thank you. I will update everyone with things as they come. I'm sure he'll be making more progress each wk.

Long Stem Transverse Myelitis

On May 22 my big brother, (who is two yrs older than me) went to the Lexington ER. He was having severe pains throughout his body and hadn't urinated in two days. They gave him a catheder to relieve his bladder, gave him some pain meds, and told him to come back if he didn't pee within 8 hrs. He went back to the ER that evening as instructed if he continued to have problems. The Dr was SO rude! To make a long story short and keep me from gossiping he sent Jesse home with a "take home" catheder and told him to see a Urologist within two days. I don't know about you, but I don't know of any Drs. offices that are open on the weekends other than Pediatrics and Urgent cares. Anway...Jesse ended up going back to the hospital on May 23, (Saturday) and was taken to Richland Hospital this time. They definitely knew something wasn't right so they did an MRI and noticed that he had abnormalities on his spine and that it was inflamed. They did more MRI's a couple Spinal Taps. On Monday afternoon he was finally diagnosed with Long Stem Transverse Myelitis. TM is a neurological disorder caused by inflamation across both sides of one level, or segment of the spinal cord. The segment of the spinal cord where the damage exsists determines which parts of the body are affected. Damage at one segment will affect function at that segment and segments below it. So his inflamed spinal cord is putting tons of pressure on the nerves around it causing them to mis-fire sending excrutiating pain throughout his body. The Drs. have been great and he's been put on steroids so the swelling will go down. There isn't a cure at the time for TM. From the research I've done I've learned that the most critical part of treatment for TM is keeping the patient's body functioning and hoping for a complete or partial spontaneous recovery of the nervous system. The article also said that recovery usually begins within 2-12wks of the onset of symptoms and can continue for up to 2yrs. It also says that about 1/3 of ppl with TM experience good or full recovery from their symptoms. TM is a cousin to MS. People with MS can get episodes of TM, but you can't get MS from TM, thankfully. We're just waiting to see if there's any nerve damage. We were told at one point that Jesse may have lost his ability to control his bowels and urinate on his own. We will see how things go today when they take the catheder out again to see if he can urinate on his own. We pray he'll be able to soon! Please pray for him and his family. His wife is also 17 wks pregnant and I know she could use our prayers too!

Acceptance

Early this morning I received a phone call from Lake Murray Baptist Church informing me that Ashlyn had a spot in their preschool program. I am SO excited! As soon as I fed the kids we got ready to go pay the tuition to secure her spot. I didn't tell her I was putting her on the waiting list in fear of her not getting in and then having to be disappointed. After the phone call I asked Ashlyn if she wanted to go to school and she replied, "No, I'm not big enough yet." She used to tell me all the time that she wanted to go to school and I would tell her she wasn't old enough because I wasn't planning on sending her to school until she was 5. I informed her that since she was almost 4 she could go to school. She got REALLY excited and immediately began asking questions like, "will there be big girls my age there?" She was quite pleased to hear that the entire class will be 4yrs old. lol. I took her with me to the school to pay the tuition and it was the perfect time to go! I didn't get there until around 11:45 so she saw all of the children getting ready for lunch and playing outside. They were doing some fun stuff with water and croquet and all kinds of other things and she just wanted to play with them so bad. She got upset when we had to leave. So now she's really looking forward to school starting. We are so thrilled!

Waiting

Yesterday I went to Lake Murray Baptist and put Ashlyn on their waiting list for Preschool. At first I wasn't going to send her to school until she was in Kindergarten but decided that she and I both need for her to go to school. She is just so bored and we all know what happens when kids are bored...they misbehave! I've tried sitting down with her and doing our own little school time, but she doesn't stay engaged for very long at all. So I've decided to give in. I think that she will really enjoy it. She's so social and loves to learn and I think she'll do much better in an educational environment. Not that I don't feel she can't learn at home, but maybe it will be more exciting this way. I pray we get in. We're number two on the waiting list and if two ppl don't pay tuition Ashlyn will take one of the spots. The cordinator told me that if they have 14 or 15 ppl on the waiting list they'll open a new class. So I'm really hoping that either way we will get in. I think I'll know something in about two wks. Lets keep our fingers crossed. It would be so great. This way I'd be able to give Jade some more special mom time and work on her communication skills. I want her to be able to feel just as special as Ashlyn did at that age. I feel like I jip her of SO much one on one time with me. She really loves mama and doesn't want anyone else. I've been feeling VERY guilty about the lack of time with her. I know it's normal with a second child, but I don't want her to grow up and feel like I didn't give her enough time. Especially when it comes time for us to have another baby. I can't just push little Jade aside like that. She deserves my time too. Both of my children deserve the absolute best mom that I can be and I feel like I'll be better if Ashlyn is able to learn better, (and I won't be so frustrated with her) and Jade will be able to learn more as well. Is this just a dream I've set up in my mind? Or is this something atainable? We will see. Lets all pray for the best mom that I can be!

Haircut Blues

I woke up ready to take on the world this morning. After feeling like such a horrible mother for the past few wks. I decided things were going to change and I was gonna feel like a good mom again. So I woke up really early with the girls and got them breakfast. Then I took a quick shower and we all three played games together and chased Jade around the house, (which is one of her favorite past times) and watched a few cartoons. Before going visiting teaching Ashlyn informed me that she wanted a snack. So I walked into the kitchen with her and opened the pantry doors to help her find the perfect snack. I just happend to look down into the trash can (it was getting full and needed to be taken out) and what I found lying there made my heart sink to my toes. There in my filthy trash can lay some of Ashlyn's beautiful hair. Aparently it's not REALLY bad or I would have noticed without having to find the evidence she tried to clean up. Once you know what to look for it's really not hard to miss. Some may think I'm being too dramatic, and that's fine. But when you have a three and a half year old with hair to her waist line you become quite attached to the lovely flow of the golden brown color and the way it elongates her sweet little face. And how you can smell the shampoo when she runs by. Well now I have to decide what to do with her hair now. I do not want to cut it short. I think short hair is precious on children, but I just really love hers long. It's something we get to share. I was thinking of just having the wonderful woman that cuts my hair give Ashlyn a cut with lots of layers. That way it can be blended in. I don't know if that will work without taking the length off. I'm still angry that she cut it. I sent her to her room and after regaining my composure I very firmly, yet lovingly, explained that if she EVER takes scissors to her hair again I will chop it off and give her a boys haircut. That really scared her so hopefully after hiding the scissors, again and threatening her she won't do it again. Now I just have to keep her away from Jade's hair!

It looks like the beginning stages of a mullet!

Oh how my heart aches for those lost inches.

The lighting in this picture around the deadly weapon is perfect because that's how I imagine the scissors looked to her when she first laid her eyes on them.

The remains. And that's not even all of 'em. =(

Beyonce Walter

Today the girls and I went to the bank to deposit daddy's check. Ashlyn always tries to get the tellers attention so that she can say hello to them and hear them speak to her over the intercom. Today she was successful! She asked me to roll her window down so that she could talk to the lady too. I did as she asked and watched/listened to her try and get the tellers attention. The teller asked, "is she trying to talk to me?" Very happy that she noticed, I said yes, she wants to tell you hello. The teller waved to Ashlyn. Since she was working and trying to get our money in our account she had to turn her back. Low and behold another teller walks up to finishes things up for us since more ppl pull up. Ashlyn is steadily waving and saying "hi." After a few seconds I hear Ashlyn singing, "All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! All the single ladies! Now putcha hands up!" LOL! It was HILARIOUS! My daughter is seranading the bank tellers a Beyonce song! Unfortunately for them I don't think they got to hear her. Too bad, that would have been awesome! I quickly got her to put her seatbelt back on and we drove home. I have this song on my playlist if you have not heard it on here before. Well Ashlyn has been a fan of it for awhile and everytime she hears it she says, "Oh! My song is on!" She then runs to which ever room it is playing in and begins to "shake her booty." What a ham! I've decided she has entertainment written all over her. lol. I've included some pictures of Ashlyn being silly and Jade feeding herself. Yes, my little Jade has reached a new milestone. She's been feeding herself with her fingers for quite some time now, but we have moved on to untensils. YAY! So enjoy the pictures and if you see Ashlyn any time soon ask her to seranade you. I'm sure she'd be more than happy to appease! =)

Like I said before, Ashlyn REALLY LOVES the camera!

Ashlyn is quite impressed with her little sister.

What a big girl! We're so happy for her!

Yay! Jade is feeding herself with utensils now.

Disney On Ice

Pretty cool huh?

Now for the main event! It's Tinkerbell!

We couldn't get the girls to look at the camera at the same time, but they had a blast!

Kenneth and I enjoying the show.

This was Kenneth's favorite part. These are the wildabeast that run over Mufasa. Kenneth thought the costumes were pretty neat.

Ariel and Prince Eric came along too!

They're mouths and eyes moved as they spoke and everything!

Mater and all of his "Cars" friends were here, Sally, Lightening McQueen, Flo, and Ramone.

We were given the opportunity to go see Disney On Ice, Worlds of Fantasy. This included some of the characters from "Cars," "The Little Mermaid," "The Lion King," "Tinkerbell," and Mickey, Minnie, Donald, and Goofy. It was GREAT! The girls had SO much fun. Jade's eyes were glued to the rink. She would just start clapping every couple of minutes. She laughed and sqealed so loud! She REALLY enjoyed herself. Ashlyn was really impressed by the princess characters, of course. She was so happy to see Ariel and Tinkerbell. We had really great seats too so she was able to see them quite well. Ashlyn felt so special when a good bit of the characters waved specifically at her, (not the cars of course seeing how they don't have any hands). At the very end of the show confetti came down EVERYWHERE. Ashlyn looked so amazed. I being the awesome mother who can catch anything that I am caught her some of the wonderous confetti. As we walked back up the aisle to go home she would keep stopping the "traffic" to pick up as much of the confetti off of the floor as she could. I had to keep pushing her along and telling her to leave it alone. It was quite humorous. When we were all settled in our car again fighting the traffic, Kenneth asked Ashlyn what her favorite part of the whole show was. Her response, "the white stuff that fell out of the sky." Funny. Especially becuase during the brief intermission right before Tinkerbell came we took a potty break and while sharing the small stall I asked her if she was excited. She said, "Tinkerbell's coming!" After I used the potty she was trying her hardest to pull my jeans up so we could go sit back down so we wouldn't miss anything. lol. She cracks me up. So after all of this waiting to see Tink...she loves the white confetti. =) A special thanks to Scott and Susan for letting us have the tickets! We all really enjoyed it. Even Kenneth was in better spirits after a few short minutes into the show. hehehe. I love Disney!